Look around the room these days and you'll spot someone with a plastic bracelet tracking their steps, miles, etc. No, this isn't some kind of punishment or parole tracker. Most likely they opened a Fitbit on Christmas morning, Hanukkah or New Year's.
And really what kind of a gift is a fitness tracker? Are your loved ones trying to tell you that you're out of shape, lazy or they simply want you out of the house? Besides, the name sounds suspiciously like a swear word.
As a four-year Fitbit aficionado, I can attest to the
value of monitoring my daily steps, sets of stairs, active minutes and
calories burned. Adding friends to my dashboard inspires me to exercise
daily and, let's be honest, try to beat their numbers.
For many, attaining the basic goal of 10,000 steps a
day provides a substantial challenge, others (primarily moms of small
children) reach 10K without leaving the house. But for those prone to
obsessive behavior, obtaining more and more steps poses a dangerous
threat to good old-fashioned slothfulness. Here are 15 signs that you're
addicted to your Fitbit:
1. You're not jealous of your friend's trip to Paris,
but rather of all the steps she'll earn while climbing the Eiffel Tower
and strolling the Champs D'Elysees.
2. And your friend knows that she's an addict when
she wears her comfortable but ugly Hoka One One shoes all over Paris,
including in chic designer shops.
3. If you wear Hoka One Ones at all (Sorry Hoka, I adore you, but you know you're unlovely).
4. After a long workout, you break down and cry
because your forgot to wear your tracker. What's the use of exercising
if you don't get any credit for it?
5. Since you never want to forget your Fitbit
again---constantly checking your wrist, or much more awkward, your bra
strap to ensure you've clipped it on this morning.
6. Your home and/or office start to look like Gold's Gym with the treadmill in one corner and the elliptical in the other.
7. In the middle of a long meeting you wonder if it would be disruptive to stand up and pace around the table?
8. You start to gauge television shoes and audiobooks
by how many steps of entertainment they'll provide. One episode of
"Downtown Abbey" = 8,000 steps. "The Way of Kings" by Brandon Sanderson =
368,000 steps.
9. Instead of sending your kids to the basement for a
can of kidney beans, you happily run down yourself. Got to get those
stairs in.
10. A trip to the mall actually sounds appealing
because you know that just the parking lot to the GAP store accumulates
at least a mile.
11. For those of us with the non-waterproof
type---feeling a bit frustrated in the shower and while getting ready in
the morning. 'Cause that's a lot of steps and we should be getting
credit for them. We know you don't have this problem, wristband wearers;
you're so smug about it.
12. Removing marathon runners from your Fitbit friend list. Can't keep up with those people.
13. Happily choosing the farthest parking spot.
14. Jumping up from the dinner table for one more
walk of the day because you just noticed your friend Jacque in Boston is
1,500 steps ahead of you.
15. Feeling the need to end the day on big round
numbers. I can't do 5.9 miles, it needs to be 6; can't go to bed with
11,800 steps, you need 12,000. Get too obsessed and you'll be up all
night.
WARNING:
these symptoms are exacerbated by beautiful
weather and late sunsets. Still, even in the winter you can still spot
severe addicts strolling the mall and snowy streets in their Hoka One
Ones.